Mountains & Valleys

The past year has been a major reality check for me. Maybe people close to me knew I had some growing up to do, but I sure was blind to it. God is growing me up. And He doesn't do that on the mountain top. I have lived in fear of the valley, of loss, of death, of real pain, of those ugly trials that test you to your limit, but, after meeting those fears head on, I am praying now to embrace, not avoid them when I inevitably meet them in the future. For I do not want to be undone in the valley, I want to be made whole. 

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Lions, and Dragons, and Marriage, Oh My!

When I reflect on my own life, I see very distinct seasons and in each of those seasons, God has used different means of slaying the dragon within me. Currently, He is using my marriage, and like Lewis writes about Eustace's experience with Aslan, it can be painful. After all, I would prefer we operate under the illusion that I'm perfect! I have no flaws, we have no arguments, and Matthew can go to his grave never seeing me at my worst. But, that's not reality and that's not God's design for marriage.

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Who does He say that I am?

Dear Jesus, Who am I really? What do you see in me that you would move heaven and earth to capture my heart? My life feels like a collection of other people's expectations and disappointments. I do not even know anymore who I truly am. Reveal to me my true identity, my true place in Your story. Give me grace to hear your voice; shut out all other voices, and let me hear from you alone. I ask this in your name. Amen. -John Eldredge

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