Once upon a time, the question "How do I know if I am a writer?" was posed and someone answered, "Would you write and keep writing if you knew your words would never be read by another soul?". When I heard this, my heart leapt for joy, because it gave me confirmation that a dream of mine was already being fulfilled.
Would I continue to write even if I knew no one would ever read the words I had written? The 12+ journals tucked away in different places of my house answered a confident YES!
I have been writing since I can remember. I wrote plays for the neighbors and myself to perform at Christmas, inviting our parents to eat microwave popcorn and watch us act out the birth of Christ. I wrote elaborate life stories for my paper dolls and even won a poetry contest at my school as a youngster. I sang songs about the flowers and the sun as soon as my bare feet landed on the dew covered grass in the morning. I wrote letters, and stories, and prose, and papers, and even kept a simpler blog for many years, knowing very few people cared to read it.
My whole heart is out there in this world on paper. I have indeed left quite a paper trail of prayers, thoughts, feelings, and reflections. If centuries from now, my great great great great grandchildren wanted to know who I was, they could piece together the love letters I have written to Matthew Darling, the journals where I wrestled with God, and even the emails my mother and I have exchanged over the years, and they would know me better than some people do even today.
I really hope my yet-to-be family members do that. Because, other than writing, I really love getting to know people and being truly known by them. I graduated with a degree in Communications for the very obvious reason that I knew that meant I got to spend my 4 years of college COMMUNICATING with other people! I have craved genuine relationships for my entire life and have, despite some significant wounds to my heart, never stopped pursuing them.
In my pursuit of the most important relationship one could ever have, it has been revealed to me that we ALL (introverts and extroverts alike) were made to desire intimacy. I believe in and serve a triune God: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Not one, but three. Three because intimacy is that important. Since we humans were created in the image of the trinity, we too desire intimacy and one of God's greatest gifts to us on Earth are the relationships we forge with each other. Those relationships and the greater community which they grow into and nurture, make God happy. And gosh, they make life more bearable for us too!
The only hard thing about being made for intimacy is that we will NEVER be fully satisfied. At least not here on Earth. I love my husband more than anyone in this solar system and he loves me better than any human ever has. But...it isn't enough. There are longings and desires for intimacy that even he cannot fill. So I, like the rest of us humans, wait and long for the coming day, when Jesus is right in front of us, cupping our faces in his hands, welcoming us home. Then, all longing and desire will overflow into praise and worship and our tired souls will be at peace.
We will bask in the shalom.
These two loves of mine, the written word and genuine relationships with others, bring you and I together today. I am writing to share my life with you, no matter how dirty or clean it is and to remind you (and myself) that we are part of a larger story. A glorious story that was written thousands of years ago when a God of intimacy and love spoke the universe into being and said that it was good.
Shalom Sisters is a journey of faith, love, mistakes, grace, and relationship. This will not be a space of judgement, prejudice, or anger, but a restorative place, a safe place, where relationships will have the opportunity to flourish. I vow to "be real" with y'all and I hope that as you get to know me, I get the opportunity to know you too. You can learn more about this blog here and here.
Thank you for joining me on this journey y'all. I pray that it is a true one.
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