Lay it All Down-Will Reagan

I'm beginning to realize the level of security that I long for isn't realistic.
Life doesn't go as I orchestrate or plan for it to.
No matter how much I manipulate what's happening around me.

I have felt more out of control of my life the past year then I knew I could be.
This has taught me that all that control I had, all the leashes I held so close, they weren't real to begin with. 

In the past year, my faith has been tested, I've been put through the fire like never before.
I kept coming back up for air only to feel another wave sweep over me, pulling me to the bottom. 
What did I really believe?
Who is Christ to me really?

My favorite stanza in this song says:

"Carried on but your heart was tired,
Feared the worst and felt the fire,
lay it all down, lay it all down,
Filled with all those anxious thoughts,
all your doubts became your god,
lay it all down, lay it all down,
at the feet of Jesus, at the feet of Jesus."

I haven't had much choice except to lay it all down. 
At the Cross.
At Christ's bloody feet.
And let Him deal rightly with my heart.

I wish I would have discovered this song earlier.
It's an essential prayer to me now.
One of those volume all the way up, eyes wide shut, hands in the air, heart sunk deep in your chest, tears on cheeks, life surrendered songs.

If you too have had the kind of year that knocks the breath out of you, I hope you too lay it all down.